You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
