Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
