She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Reggie can tackle my bush.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
