Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
