Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
