Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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