he shaved USA in his pubs
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Vodka?
Forever.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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