think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
