Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
