She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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