I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
