wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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