i already hear my dad disowning me
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
