Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
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