Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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