I need help removing her.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
