After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
