I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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