Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
