Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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