He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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