I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Randomize
