we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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