OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
