Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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