Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize