i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
