Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Randomize
