The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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