I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
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