Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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