Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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