Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
