He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Watching her eat just hurts me
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
My bed smells like the plague
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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