so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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