Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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