I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
