i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
a search helicopter?!
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
