my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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