In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
