i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
