6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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