What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
