apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
