Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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