when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
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