just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
