really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
