Just took my morning after pill in the library
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Randomize
