pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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