How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
