My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
