ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
We were destined to go to rehab together
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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