she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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