I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
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