We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
