Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
