Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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