I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
