literally had 100 drinks last night.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
