I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
