I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
