Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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