dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
