I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
