She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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