due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
