Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
