hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
