You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
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