She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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