Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
