The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
