it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
